Do You Come Here Often?

Good Day Everyone!

I hope that you had a wonderful week and are ready to tackle a new one with new goals and aspirations!

Might I just add, I have a sense of giddy euphoria as I begin to write this week’s blog installment, I am being lulled by the gentle pitter patter of RAIN with every key stroke.

Why am I excited about rain you ask?

We have been in quite a drought here in Niagara and literally tumbleweeds were going to start blowing through, crops are dying on the vine, but today we have gotten a bit of reprieve and I am truly grateful.  OK now onto today’s topic!

As I outlined rather creatively I might add in my very first blog that started out this whole blog thing (didn’t read that one, no worries here is a link https://dinaarsenaultblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/28/the-unpredictability-of-my-crazy-life/ )  I am over 40 and single.  Being single in your 40’s is soooooo much different than being single in your 20’s or even 30’s.  First of all, being in my 40’s I really don’t put up with nearly an iota of what I did in my younger years.  I have a damn good BS meter and it is on turbo speed ya’ll!

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Where do you even meet ‘eligible bachelors’ around here anyways?

It doesn’t help that I have been out of the ‘game’ for quite some time and I kinda feel like Little House on the Prairie’s Laura Ingalls being time warped to 2016. (OK, I am not quite a pioneer woman novelist, but you get my point)  The ‘game’ certainly has changed and I am not sure I agree with a lot of the rules!

OK, let’s delve into dating sites shall we, because that seems to be the ‘way to meet people’ nowadays as EVERYONE has been telling me.

Ahhh Plenty of Fish, what a crazy, innuendo filled, carnival of pick up lines, rude comments, dick pics and false advertising you have been…The #1 site for relationships you say????  What EXACTLY is your definition of relationship POF huh?

Don’t even get me started on Tinder and the latest online dating craze of ‘ghosting’, (the act of someone you have been talking too all of a sudden falling off the face of the earth, refusing to answer texts, emails, messages etc for no reason.) That can be another blog post all on its own.  No seriously it can be…Now back to POF…

Sure I thought I had met some decent enough guys, had very normal conversations and then WHAM, wanna sext?  Send me some nudes… Wanna hook up? Ummmmmm NO!

Don’t get me wrong I am not a prude by any means, but call me old fashioned, if I haven’t even met you in person why would I want to see your nether regions or show you mine while you tell me what you would like to do with them?  What happened to getting to know someone, really building up a rapport, dating, courting if you will, to see if it could lead somewhere?  I feel like an alien living in a world full of meaningless hookups and anonymity.  I know the irony of all of this since I work in social media, but I guess since I am in that world all day, I want to take my own life offline and get to know people the old fashioned way, face to face.  Even I counsel my clients that although building relationships online is very important,  at some point you need to take them offline for the benefit of your business, and in my case my love life.

In a world full of technology, I am feeling the call of person to person.  We as humans need interaction with other humans, it is in our DNA.  It is like we have lost the art of conversation without the use of a smartphone, tablet or laptop.  What happened to picking up the phone and actually… gasp, calling someone?  Have we become so reliant on ‘tools’ to communicate or have we all just become lazy or just plain too busy to put in the time and commitment it takes to build a truly meaningful relationship?

Clearly, I don’t have all the answers, I am still trying to navigate this myself.  What I have learned from life and from my failed relationships, is what I will and will not accept of myself and of someone  who I potentially want to begin a relationship with:

  1. There must be mutual respect given between both of us not only in the beginning but throughout the relationship.
  2. Good Communication MUST be practiced and maintained always, even if the conversations are hard.
  3. Never lose the art of having fun and laughing together.
  4. Feeling comfortable in our own skins, flaws and all.
  5. Being supportive of each other’s goals and dreams even if you may not agree or understand them.
  6. Passion in life and for each other.
  7. Compassion for others and the world in which we live.
  8. Always growing and evolving as people and as partners in the relationship together.

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Will I find all of these things in a potential partner?  I sure as hell hope so!  I am not looking for perfection, just perfect for me and I will do the same for my potential mate as well.  That has been the true meaning behind the last 8 1/2 years of my journey of self discovery; healing and looking deep within myself for the answers of who I am and how I want to evolve to be the better woman not only for me but for my future life partner.

So here I am putting pen to paper so to speak, and putting it out into the universe who and what I am looking for in my life. There I go, releasing you out into the ether. Here is hoping the universe is actually listening and is not waiting for a WIFI hot spot to pick up 😛

Thank you once again for coming along and reading my ramblings for another week!

It never goes unnoticed and unappreciated.  I would love to hear you comments and feedback, what is your opinion on dating in 2016?  Is it too superficial or can you still find those nuggets of realness but you just have to look hard enough?

Can’t wait to hear what YOU all have to say!

Until we meet again,

Love & Light I send to you all always!

Dina xxoo

ReHolistically Speaking & Me

Hello all and thank you for joining me for another week!

This week’s topic is going to be a bit different, yesterday I had the privilege to receive a Black Pearl Session with the wonderful and intuitive Agnes Apps, the owner and fellow GWEn member of ReHolistically Speaking right here in St. Catharines.  I had the pleasure to hear Agnes speak a few weeks back at an evening entitled EMPOWER, put on by the lovely Jenn Wallace, CEO and Founder of GWEn (Growing Women Entrepreneur Network)

Agnes, riveted the entire room with her captivating life story which lead her down the path to helping others holistically through Meditation, Reiki, Black Pearl and Etheric Health Practicing.  How she navigated her journey in her own words:

“I learned I had a voice. I learned I could share my feelings. I learned not to be so afraid. Most importantly I learned that what everyone else is thinking, feeling and expecting, is NOT about ME. So, I let that sh*t go!  My goal now, is to help other women do the same thing. To relieve their minds of chatter, their bodies of stress and their lives of other people’s expectations.”

So needless to say when I was awarded the door prize of a free Black Pearl Session with Agnes, I knew that I was in for some in depth self discovery.

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To be honest, I really didn’t know what to expect when I arrived at Agnes’s lovely home. Prior to my meeting I was asked to wear comfortable clothes and have no hairspray or gel in my hair.  Ummmm ok, I just rolled with it, but thank the lord for baseball caps!

I was greeted with a warm hello and a bright smile that could put anyone at ease.  I was lead down a hall to the therapy room.  Before we started, Agnes asked me a series of questions, so that she could have a better grasp on my life experiences and what negative or traumatic emotions or experiences I could be consciously or subconsciously holding onto without even knowing it.  Even while talking at this point I could already feel some deep emotions start to come to the surface.  You see I learned a long time ago some things you never really ‘get over’, you just learn to navigate them and not let them affect you the way they have been, but, underneath the surface remnants of whatever they may be will always be there as a reminder of where you have been and how far you have already come.

I was then asked to get on the very comfortable and inviting treatment table, very much the same as you would see in a spa.  Before we began, Agnes let me know that things could happen to me while I am in treatment; I could be overcome with emotion, I could become very tired, I could have visions of people or places, I could feel very energized afterwards, or none of the above.  This experience is different for everyone, and ultimately it is my journey and how open I am willing to let my body and spirit be to this new experience is entirely up to me.

Yoga lotus pose. Padmasana with colored chakra points.

Low but soothing wave sounds began to play, a warm and fuzzy blanket was wrapped around my legs and waist.  A soft but pleasant almost citrus like essential oil was gently applied to the base of my neck and my temples and once I took 3 deep and relaxing breaths my treatment began.  I continued taking deep breaths as Agnes began her gentle bodywork on my temple and over my body.  Continuing with her own deep breaths to be in tune with the energies I was giving off and the ones my body was holding onto.  New sensations did come over my body, almost a relief of tiny tingling sensations left me.  As I relaxed even further, I actually drifted off to sleep, snoring and all.  Sorry Agnes for the drool 😛

But while I was under, images of vivid fluid colours came flooding in, along with random images of people and places that I didn’t know or had been before washed over me as well. I wasn’t confused or scared, I just relaxed into it and let it happen.  I am not sure what the significance of these images are but I was not perplexed by them just accepting.  Possibly, these people and places could be spirits from the other side trying to come through?  It could be my imagination going over board and creating them, I am not really sure.

Before I knew it, my session was over.  Slowly, I opened my eyes and refocused them and my body to move again.  I had a feeling of calm come over me.  My legs felt heavy and I needed to slowly move them to get the blood flowing again.  Gingerly, I rose my body up and knew I was changed.  Knowing that I have a higher level of intuition within me and I have the ability to tap into it by being present and being still is such a gift.  I think by starting my yoga teacher training where we practice the art of finding the beauty and spirituality within ourselves and our everyday lives really laid the groundwork for me to really keep my mind and body open to this session with Agnes.  You get back what you put out into this world, so if you put the energy out that you are closed off and not accepting of new and positive energy or emotion then I don’t know if you will be able to get the same benefit as I was able to from this experience.  But, if you are present, open and accepting of new and positive energy to enter within you and for you to give off, then I highly recommend that you give Agnes a shout and begin your journey of releasing that internal chatter and stress we all carry as women and really learn to let go and just have the freedom to be YOU!

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Thank you once again Agnes for the amazing experience you helped me guide myself through and I know that I will take my new found intuition with me for the rest of my days.

As always, I love hearing feedback and comments, have you ever had a session like the one I had with Agnes?  I would love to hear about it!

Until next time,

Love and Light Always,

Dina xxoo

 

‘No’ Can Be a Very Sexy Word!

Happy new week my friends!

I hope that you are all doing splendidly.  Before I dive into this week’s topic, I just wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU for all the kind words and support you all showed me on my last post updating you on my results both emotionally and physically from my 3 month health & wellness journey.  If I in some way was able to inspire you to put health & wellness on your radar and a priority for yourselves, then I am completely humbled and grateful to have you all in my little circle of peers and people that I love and care about.  I have to say, helping others is so rewarding for me.  I think that is probably the only thing I miss from working in the hospitality industry, I genuinely cared about each and every customer or ‘friend’ that I encountered in my 20 odd years of working in restaurants.  That connection and knowing that for a brief encounter I was able to bring some kind of joy or a pleasant experience to each of them, I will never forget or take for granted.  Now onto today’s topic!

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What do I mean when I write, ‘No’ can be a very sexy word, you are all probably wondering (I know, I know, flawless and seamless segue :P)

Well let me explain, as some of you already know or if you read my last blog post, I have begun yoga teacher certification training with Yoga Truly.  I have been participating in the practice of yoga on and off for many years now.  The opportunity to take teacher training came up and something inside of me said ‘Yes, this is the right time to make this new step in your journey of self discovery and revelation’. One of the principles that I have really been connecting with is the notion of being truly present and in the moment.  This practice forces you to clear your mind of all the ‘noise’ of our busy and stressful lives and just BE in the the present moment.  In these quiet moments of self refection I have noticed a few things about me and where I am at this moment as a woman and as a entrepreneur.

  • I have a very chatty mind.  No really, sometimes it feels like a disobedient toddler who doesn’t want to go outside and is arguing with everything you tell them to do.
  • When I think I am still and relaxed, actually my neck and shoulders are still clenched and I need to truly be present and thoughtfully release the tension
  • When I am truly in the moment, I have this uncanny ability to achieve an overall feeling of inner peace and joy as I notice all of the simple beauty we have all around us in people, places and nature.
  • With my heightened sense of being aware I have realized that others may not be there yet, and it is OK to say No to them or things they are asking of me if it is not aligned with who I am and where I am aiming to go and this includes potential and current clients.

Yes you heard me correctly, IT IS OK TO SAY NO TO YOUR CLIENTS!

We as women really do struggle with this one. We generally put others before our own needs and think that is how things are supposed to be, almost playing it like we are martyrs and people pleasers, and this can leak into how we relate to our own clients as well.  The late night emails, calls, working overtime but never billing for it, losing sleep and putting your wants and needs on the back burner and so on and so on.

But, who is this really serving?

If you burn the candle at both ends, how is this going to serve others in the long run?

Setting up boundaries with your clients and loved ones right from the get go is not cruel, but essential for a mutually beneficial relationship for both of you.

When you meet with you client, lay it out what you are willing and not willing to accept right from the get go and that includes your fees.  Obviously, do it in a constructive and positive manner, but if they do not agree and fight you on it, then you simply must tell them No and internally say next and let them go, as they are just not ready to accept all that you can offer them or acknowledge the value you have or can add to them and their business.

I have been dealing with the latter lately and this has been a big realization for me as the issue of my fees has come up quite frequently when I discuss what I do with potential clients.  Knowing my talents and what my worth is as a social media manager has been a journey all on its own, but seeing first hand the results I have been able to achieve for my clients has more than validated my talent and expertise.  So here I sit saying NO to lowering my fees and feeling confident that I am making the right choice as I am opening myself up to my ‘ideal client’ who gets what I do, what I offer and recognizes my worth and the value I can offer to them and to their business.

You know what, instead of feeling stressed I feel relieved.  Knowing who you are and what you want as a biz owner is crucial to your success.  Taking any and all clients that may not suit who you are and what you do, does not serve you or your client.  I truly believe that having the courage to say no and turning a client away that did not align with me and my business values is the best thing I can do.

Who knows who the universe will send my way next, but what I do know I will be ready to say Yes or No and be confident in my decision either way.

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I would love to know, do you find it difficult to say No? Why?  I would love to hear.  Please leave your answers in the comments below. 🙂

Thank you again for reading my weekly ramblings and I always appreciate your feedback or comments!

Until we meet again,

Love & Light Always,

Dina xxoo

Life of a Serial Dieter – Final Update

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Well here we are folks, the end to my 3 month long health and wellness challenge of devoting time and energy into my over well being both physically and emotionally. But, actuality it’s not the end, it is just the beginning.

What have I learned over these past 3 months:

  1. I am a freaking badass
  2. I am worth it
  3. Exercise is no joke
  4. I am capable of far more things then I give myself credit for
  5. I like how I feel after I work out
  6. I am going to be devouring life from now on
  7. I am strong
  8. I still freaking HATE Kale
  9. Katy Perry can be quite surprisingly inspirational when you are trying to get through your 50th burpee – in a freaking row -YUP
  10. No amount of Secret deodorant can mask an after workout gym funk – Nope

I like who I have become through all of this; strong, confident and wanting to be healthy NOT perfect!  That is a huge breakthrough for me.  I now want to try things I never thought I could do before.  In fact, tonight I start my kayaking lessons at Grand River Kayak, I recently went on the Jetovator with 905 Rentals for my birthday (blog to come) and I just signed up to be a certified yoga instructor with Yoga Truly.  Yes ME, a health care practitioner and teacher for others, who would have thought it!

Will I lead a perfect life from now on never cheating or missing a workout?

Odds are, probably not, but you know what, for the first time I won’t beat myself up over it, I am human and mistakes will happen and I am OK with that 🙂

If I eat healthy foods that I know will nourish my body with nutrients, exercise my body with activities, go to the gym – however my body transforms is how it transforms, I will not judge it or me.  A number on a scale or size on a piece of clothing will no longer define who I am as a person, a woman, friend, daughter or sister.

I am ME and that is enough!

So in my effort to continue my transparency I will now show you my transformation through pictures.  Here we go!

Day 1:

  • Weight: 247 lbs
  • Right bicep: 13 inches
  • Bust: 46 inches
  • Waist: 44 inches
  • Hips: 49 inches

Mid Point:

  • Weight: 240.6 lbs
  • Right Arm: 13 inches
  • Waist: 41 inches
  • Hips: 48 inches

Final:

  • Weight: 234.2 lbs
  • Right Arm: 13 inches
  • Bust: 44.5 inches
  • Waist: 39 inches
  • Hips: 47 inches

So that makes 13 lbs lost along with 8.5 inches.  Subtle but noticeable physical difference achieved but, more importantly a significant emotional mind shift was created as well.

Once again, thank you for coming on this journey with me and for all of your words of encouragement.  Even though this 3 month challenge is over, my heath and wellness journey has just begun and I can not wait to see what this incredible journey called my Life has in store!

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I am curious, what are some of YOUR health & wellness tips you have developed for yourselves?  I would love to hear them!

Until we meet again,

Love and Light I send to each and everyone of you always,

Dina xxoo