My definition of success

Hello My Fellow Blog Lovers and Supporters,

Here we are again, embarking on a new week, new goals and new responsibilities to fulfill. I must say this glorious almost Spring like weather has made achieving those that much more enjoyable!

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend the Haste & Hustle Marketing Conference right here in the Niagara Region.  In fact, here is a Facebook LIVE I did directly from the event, check it out!

But I digress, while I was watching Gary Vaynerchuk the CEO and founder of Vaynermedia speak, (as mentioned in the video), he said something that really resonated with me, “Find your own definition of success, because no amount of money is a direct correlation to your own happiness.”

Seriously, mind blown!

This got me thinking – What does success mean to me?

I really had to take some time, be quiet and look within and really pinpoint what success would look like for me.  It has not been an  A + B = C answer that is for sure, more like A + B= Infinity and beyond.  So this is where I had to sit down and really map it out and see on paper what true success or happiness really would look like specifically for me and my value system.

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First of all, I need to be working in a career I love.  A career where I get to help people and assist them in some way achieve their own goals for success.  Well, it would seem like I would have this one covered.  My business of social media management and coaching for small business owners genuinely allows me to assist others to go after and achieve their own goals of business success.  When I see my client land a new customer because of the relationships we worked so hard on establishing online for them, it literally makes my heart sing! No really it does.  I really do ❤ what I do and ❤ when I get to experience those moments with my clients!

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Second of all, I want to be surrounded by those I love and care about and nurture those relationships.  Moving back into the Niagara region has allowed me to do just that.  I live with my Mom and Stepdad, my sister lives 5 minutes away, my brother a 1/2 an hour away as well as my best friend.  Having the opportunity to rekindle and reconnect with these people has been a wonderful experience to say the least.  I never realized how lonely I truly was out West until I moved back and was able to experience these relationships once again.  I really was missing out, and getting to watch my precocious, smart and funny great nephew grow up has been beyond wonderful.  Gawd I LOVE that kid!

Lastly, I want to own my own home decorated and filled with the things that make me feel inspired and loved.  Pictures of those I love, items that I picked up from my travels, books and objects that evoke memories or feelings of peace, fun and tranquility.  Have dinner parties where I can invite those I care about to come and sit around my table, eat the food I lovingly prepared for them, laughing and drinking wine the night away, really is an evening of bliss in my books.  I do live in a comfortable home that I have carefully chosen to decorate my ‘rooms’ with these very such things.  However, I do not own it.

So as they say, 2 1/2 out of 3 ain’t bad!

So as you can see, my wants and desires are pretty simple and I by no means am rich.  Not that I am looking to be rich, but improving that part of my life is one of my goals for me and my business this year.  To make a comfortable income so I can afford these luxuries I have outlined and through in world travel into the yearly mix as well.  So I guess what I am trying to say is, Gary was right, the amount of money you make does not equate the amount of happiness you will feel.  But, it does help a bit doesn’t it 😛

So I guess I am well on my way to creating the ‘successful’ life I have envisioned for myself, now the bigger question is, how do I morph into Ashley Graham so I can have the trifecta of happiness? 😛

Thank you once again for taking the time to read my weekly ramblings and supporting me on my blogging journey.  But, before I go, let me ask you this, what is YOUR definition of success?  I can’t wait to hear your answers!

Until we meet again,

Love & Light I send to you always,

Dina xxoo

 

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It’s All In How You Choose To Look At It

Hello My Fellow Blog Lovers and Followers,

Well we have done it, we are officially in the second week of February, and might I say the home stretch until the start of Spring (fingers crossed).  But, I find myself in the same quandary I do every year, the quandary of Valentine’s Day, or is it one?

Allow me to explain…

Now I know, many of you HATE this ‘pseudo holiday’ as you like to call it, saying it is nothing but a commercialized ploy by the mainstream to sell more chocolates and expensive presents.  It just puts pressure on those in relationships to live up to the unreachable standards put forth by this day, and it is rigged to make those who are single to feel horrible about their self worth and desirability towards their desired sexual interests.

Now, don’t get me wrong I used to be apart of this mob mentality as well.  Saying down with Valentines and all the negative connotations associated with it!

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I mean the only good thing about it was the half price chocolate you get on Feb 15th right?

But, one year I decided to look within and see it from another perspective…

What if, instead of looking at it from the negative, we, I mean me, chose to look at it from a positive perspective, the perspective of celebrating LOVE in all of its glorious forms.  Why does Valentine’s Day have to ONLY be about romantic love?  Why can’t it be about the celebration of LOVE in all of its beautiful, raw and overwhelming variations – friends, family, neighbours, co-workers, fur babies, fellow human beings. You name it, let’s celebrate it!

Once you flip that switch so to speak and flip the script to the positive, you would be amazed at how wonderful a holiday or an experience you will encounter.  In addition,  your day to day life will open up to greet you and shape how you see and relate to things.  It really does boil down to your mindset.

Now being a small business owner, I have found that this can apply to how I run my business as well.  If I were to have the mindset of never being good enough or overwhelmed with paying the bills or finding new clients to keep myself a float then, that is what will happen.  The energy you put out into the world is the exact energy you will receive.

Now you may not believe in the power of attraction, but I assure you I have seen it work in my own life.  When I acknowledge my feelings, be they negative and I allow myself to reset my energy and my mindset to positive you would be amazed at the outcome – More energy, more feelings of accomplishment, more clients have come my way and my confidence in what I can accomplish has skyrocketed.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not Polly Anna happiness all the time, seriously I am human just like you and I have days where wine and chocolate seem to be the only elixir for the crazy beast of emotion brewing inside of me.

But, now I know how to sense them, defuse them, release them and redirect them towards the positive.  That is huge for my emotional well being and for own sense of wellness and confidence.  But, I truly do believe most of this is due to the company of people I choose to surround myself with. They say you will resemble the characteristics and values of the top 5 people you hang out with the most.  If you hang around negative people you will inevitably become negative in your thoughts and outlooks.  Fortunately, the same can be said if you surround yourself with positive people as well.  I feel so fortunate to have found my tribe of like minded entrepreneurs who are all about community and support and lifting not only their businesses, but those in the Niagara region as well.  So what I am really trying to say, is that it’s a no brainer – Find your tribe!

If you are looking to change you life the answer can be found in changing your mindset, it is really as easy as that!

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Thank you all once again for coming along on my blogging journey with me, your support and taking the time to read my ramblings each week does not go unnoticed or unappreciated! But, before I go, let me ask you this, what are some of your tips for changing a negative situation into a positive one?  I would love to hear your answers!

Until we meet again,

Love & Light I send to you always,

Dina xxoo

Sometimes You Just Gotta Let Go For No Other Reason Than It’s Just Too Heavy

Hello My Fellow Blog Lovers & Followers!

First week of February and we are finally getting some winter weather of sorts anyways. But, I gotta say I am holding onto Wiarton Willie’s prediction and hoping for an early Spring.  There I go again, holding onto something or someone far past when I should; I have difficulty letting go – There I said it!

Not being able to let go has always been a vice of mine that I just can’t seem to break. Maybe it’s because I am a Cancer and part of personality traits are and I quote:

“she likes to hold on to things that make her happy and won’t easily change her house, partner or a circle of friends. She can be irrational, oversensitive and too quiet, and the best way to approach her is to see her emotional side as her biggest virtue.”

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Guilty on all counts! But, the one aspect that truly has been sticking out for me lately is my undying need to never let go even if it is in my best interest to do so.  Am I just stubborn? Or am I just so damn determined that I can take care of or fix anything or anyone that I have dedicated my time and attention too, that I hang on for dear life no matter how crazy and dangerous of a ride it is for me and my emotional well being?

The most likely culprit I believe is that nagging voice, you know that one that seems to quiet down, be hiding in the shadows just waiting for its moment to strike and then BAM out of nowhere – You make a misstep or make a mistake, fall flat on your face and there she is loud and clear bellowing in your ear – ” Hey loser why do you even try, you know you aren’t good enough” Yeah…that one…

My god she is such a freaking BIOTCH!  Maybe I am trying to prove her wrong –  Prove to her if she is wrong about me then she must be wrong about that person or situation right?

Probably not…

What I do know, I need to believe and trust in my instincts more.  That is the voice I need to be listening to with abandon! She is the no filter, no BS voice that will never lie, manipulate or hood wink me into believing or thinking any lies or half truths about me and my abilities, and yet she is the one I generally tell to sit down and be quiet as the adults are talking – You know the adults – My insecurities and misconceptions, those mean girls…

I guess what I am trying to say – On some level we never truly lose our insecurities completely.  We remain those scared, fragile and vulnerable little people who never know if they can or should try something new or be brave enough to go after it and do it anyways damn the consequence.  I have made peace with that I guess.  But, maybe just maybe she needs to have that big sister, that big protector that tells her like it is, picks her up when she falls, strokes her hair and tells her it is going to be OK, to believe in her abilities and her strengths.

That big sister sure as hell needs to come to more parties, dance with abandon and drink like a MOFO.  THAT big sis is in fact Twins – Intuition and Belief. Intuition to know when something is good for you and Belief in your own abilities to make the right choice and have the strength to walk away and let that person or situation go when it or they are no longer serving you.  GAWD, these chicks are a rad pair to have my friend, and are fucking AMAZING family to surround yourself with. I can’t wait for the next family reunion! 🙂

Thank you all once again for coming along on this blog journey with me peeps.  Your support and taking the time to read my ramblings every week does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.  But, before we go I would love to know, what is one habit or vice that you have a hard time letting go of even if you know it is in your best interest that you do?

I can’t wait to hear your answers!

Until we meet again,

Love & Light I send to you always,

Dina xxoo

The Self Care Sounds Of Silence

Hello My Fellow Blog Lovers & Followers!

What an unbelievable week it has been!  World events that have shaken most of us to the core, new influx of potential clients coming down the pipe while trying to fit all of that in with life, exercise, my new daily rituals and now making time for that certain special someone newly entering my life. (Yes THAT kind of someone, suffice it to say, I am dating someone and it is lovely, fun, exciting, comforting and sexy and all other things mixed in. But, that is for another blog to come down the road :P)

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What I have noticed that has given me solace in this craziness, has been taking the time to just be – present, with my own thoughts in silence.

Allow me to explain…

I FINALLY took the time and money to invest in a space that is just for me.  The basement has been an unused area of the home relegated to furniture storage and the varying layers of cat hair and dust that can accumulate in one given space. (Note: not gonna lie it’s a freaking shit tonne!)  Bought a TV and stand and relocated the furniture to create a very cozy and intimate seating area that is both inviting and clean from my countless hours of dusting, vacuuming and removing unwanted stuff.  So clean that Rachel Epp of Misses Clean would indeed have been proud of my cleaning expertise! Rachel, If you are in need of any cleaners just let me know 😛

But I digress…

So I know what you are thinking – “Dina so you created a freaking TV room, big deal, hardly blog worthy my dear!”  That on the surface I would have to agree with you, but what I have noticed is my level of impatience and anxiety has dropped since.  When you are an adult back living with your parents, having a space you can retreat too is even more significant for your over all well being with not only yourself, but with your parental roommates as well.  Inevitably, you are going to get on each others nerves whether its who left the toothpaste lid off, who didn’t put their dishes in the dishwasher or having to watch the same episode of Murder She Wrote for the 100th time (no seriously, that struggle is real)  Having a space you can retreat too allows your to sit with your thoughts, think, reflect or just escape into the cinematic world of an Android box.  All of this has allowed me to just exhale and well just BE.

Always being on, especially with what I do for a living has left me in a heightened state of alertness – brain always moving, thinking, strategizing, analyzing and well as a result exhausted with little to no patience left for anyone let alone those whom you live with and love.

Being able to just sit with your thoughts in silence, not analyzing them or working through them but instead just allowing them to be, definitely  is a practice I need to work on. I started this meditative practice with my recent yoga study stint with Yoga Truly but due to my old coping patterns creeping back in along with finances, I unfortunately have taken a short sabbatical.  But, when I did allow myself to breathe and just be, this wave of calm and peace would fall over me. I miss this.  I never knew how much until now.

We are all so busy just trying to get through this thing called our lives that we forget to take a moment, to breathe and truly allow ourselves to just LIVE!

Taking time for your own self care is not selfish, it is necessary for your overall well-being. Sadly, for most women like myself it has become something we have just taken for granted we will do once sometime or someday is taken care of first.

Having this little space has taught me that my time for self care is now.  Sometimes you just need the sounds of silence to remind you.

I encourage you to find your space whether they are at home, a local hangout, coffee shop, park bench or hidden hideaway. Take these moments of silence and allow yourself to hear your own deafening sounds of well being and stillness so you to can learn to live a truly extraordinary life filled with calm and beauty.

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And who doesn’t want that right!?

Thank you once again for coming along on this blog journey with me, your taking the time to read my weekly ramblings and your continuous support does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. But before we go, I would love to know, what do YOU do for your own self care?

What activities or practices do you participate in to give you a state of zen and self care?  I can’t wait to hear your answers!

Until then, love and light I send to you always,

Dina xxoo