Top Six Things To Know As An Expat Living In China

Hello my fellow blog lovers and supporters,

I’m baccccccck, hopefully on a more consistent basis this time, I mean that is the plan and my intention – OK here goes!

Did you miss me?  I sure as hell missed all of you terribly! Who knew trying to move to a new country, hell a new continent, diving into a brand new career would actually disrupt my rhythm and way of doing things – I mean come on, who would have thunk that one, I mean not me, I’m freaking invincible and can handle any and every disruption or chaos that comes my way, right!? 😛

Well, as it would turn out folks, and it pains me to admit this – I am NOT superwoman and EVEN I have my limits.  OUCH, that was a hard one to admit, but alas it is true.  A few more revelations I have come to understand since moving to China as an Expat, a mere three months ago will be discussed further, in well, this very blog!

So let’s begin shall we…

1. Hygiene

Your concept of ‘good’ hygiene and China’s concept of ‘good’ hygiene you’ll discover is vastly different!

As most of you know, China has a little something called a ‘squat toilet’.  These little gems are basically a hole in the floor, where as the name indicates, you ‘squat’ over and well do your business.  Just take a moment to think about that, and how we as women urinate.  I don’t know about you, but I never really gave it much thought as to ‘how’ my pee comes out on a western toilet, but let me tell you, you sure as hell learn real quick on a squat toilet as you’re pissing on your shoe trying to aim for that bulls eye blind.  Not to mention, toilet paper is not provided for you sometimes at all or at the very least not in the stall, but rather outside, so you have to decide before you go in, is it going to be a 4 or 12 sheet kinda experience.  God forbid, you think you gotta only pee and SURPRISE a number two plops out – Well folks you are shit outta luck, like literally. 😛

Additionally, many of these ‘restrooms’, have no soap to wash your hands.  So bringing in your own Purell and tissues with you becomes part of your China survival kit, while the North American custom of shaking hands just goes out the window. Because of this squat ability, it is not uncommon to see adult men, women and children just dropping their pants and squatting to urinate and defecate right on the sidewalk in plain view.  I never believed these rumors until it happened to me the first time walking down the street, and a gentleman just dropped his pants and proceeded to take a dump right there on the street, it was like a freaking train wreck, you know you’re not supposed to look but you just can’t help yourself – All the while in my head I kept repeating, ‘Nooooooo, he isn’t gonna, no, no, no, he wouldn’t, HOLY SHIT, yup there he goes.  Dear God keep walking, don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact..’ as I hurriedly ran by, shaken and quite frankly disturbed.

2. You’re a Fucking Unicorn

As a white foreigner or ‘laowai’ – When you walk down the street, especially in the more ‘rural’ or’suburban’ areas like where I am here in Fengtai district, you definitely do stand out and are kinda like the circus side show performer you would see at those old school vaudeville shows. I literally have been videoed with people’s phones as I walk down the street, been stopped countless times to ask if I would take a selfie with random strangers or have witnessed looks of shock and awe and wonder on the faces of Chinese residents as I walk by.

Is this what celebrities feel like when they go out in public? Cause its fucking weird!

The part I do enjoy is the shy Chinese children who see me and are so curious and a bit stand offish, so I usually try to wave hello and interact.  They either get so excited, smile and say hello back or run behind their mothers scared and screaming.  It’s pretty much a crap shoot, but I like my odds. 🙂

3. Beijing Traffic Or Should I Say Traf-fuck

So I get asked all the time from my family and friends back in Canada, ‘so is traffic in China as bad as everyone says it is?’ YES, YES it is! They’re basically are no rules, if it says you can walk as a pedestrian, that doesn’t mean a car isn’t going to turn into the crosswalk from any direction, because they do and they don’t give a crap if your walking or not.  Sidewalks are fair game for motorized scooters to come whipping by on as well.

When I first got here, I can’t count how many times I almost had a heart attack crossing the street.  I would have to psych myself up, like I was getting ready to enter Thunderdome – Give myself pep talks, fight the feeling to flee or curl up in the fetal position, before I worked up the nerve to step off the curb and into the abyss.  Now, I’m just a hardened veteran that can bob and weave and merge with abandon.

Strange how quickly we adapt isn’t it!?

However, don’t even get me started on driving in a car here – Getting cut off or bumped or side swiped is just common place.  Car horns will assault your ears daily, but it doesn’t always mean the same thing as it does in Canada.  Because they’re no rules of the road here – Honking has become a sort of signalling system to other drivers and pedestrians to let them know you are there and of course to also say ‘WTF dude!’

But, through it all, I have to say there is almost a sort of beauty in the chaos of it.  For some reason they make it work, it’s almost like witnessing a fluid, elegantly choreographed automobile ballet, where everyone has their own bit parts.

4. Baijiu Really Is ‘White Poison’

This stuff is no joke folks, this shit will mess you up! Baijiu is the national Chinese alcohol and even Chinese people are in awe when they see a foreigner drink it.  It’s cheap, tastes like turpentine and around 60 proof.  I was ‘initiated’ on this stuff when I first arrived and let me tell you – Hammered doesn’t even come close to the level of intoxication I experienced.

Seriously, the brew master has got to be the devil himself ya’ll!

5. Air Pollution Is Real

I must say compared to last year, the air pollution has been much better overall, but it is not uncommon for you to begin your day with AQI (Air Quality Index) of 50 which is normal and within a couple of hours it is over 300 which is very unhealthy.  The National AQI app will become your right hand letting you know the levels every 30 minutes.  You have to understand Beijing, is located in a bit of a valley due to the mountain ranges surrounding it.  So, if we don’t get high winds to blow the pollution away, it just kinda sits there and builds up.  Face masks are a MUST!  You may feel like Mad Max, but your lungs will thank you.

But, I will give some kudos to the Chinese government who have quickly implemented structures and procedures to ensure that China with be sourcing 40% of their energy from renewable resources by 2020.  They are already well on their way.  Coal emissions have reduced drastically, because of the influx of solar and wind power resources, car pollution has been reduced as well – On high pollution days random cars with random license plate numbers are forbidden to drive on those days and if they are caught driving they are made to pay a stiff fine.  In addition, they also put restrictions on construction during these high days as well.  All of these efforts have proven to already drastically reduce the amount of pollution produced here in Beijing.

6. Warm Water The Magic Elixir

Little known fact – Warm water will cure anything that ails you.  No really, it’s true, at least that has been my prescription given to me since I got here by EVERY Chinese person I’ve met.  I could have a cough, sniffle, ear ache, sinus headache, broken toe nail, bruised knee, bullet wound – OK I haven’t had a bullet wound here but I have had all of the above, but I could almost guarantee somebody would say “You need to drink more warm water, that’ll fix you right up.” Yup – So doctors in Canada you need to start carrying warm water in your medical bag, save you so much time and money, you heard it here first. 😛

All in all, these past few months have been about discovery, adventure, facing fears and stepping outside of my comfort zone.  China has been an incredible backdrop to have all of this unfold for me.  I kind of relate China to that one drunk uncle we all have that comes to all the family get togethers – You know he is gonna make a scene, but at the very least you’e gonna have a laugh and a good time in spite of and because of it.

Thank you all once again for coming along on this blog writing journey with me and taking the time to read my ramblings.  But, before we go, let me ask you this, what strange and wonderful things have you experienced traveling to a foreign country?

I can’t wait to hear your answers!

Until we meet again,

Love & Light Always,

Dina xxoo

 

 

Christmas in Beijing

Hello there my fellow blog lovers and supporters!

It is I, Dina, writing you once again from a far away land called Beijing.  I hope that my little ramblings find you all well and full steam ahead into your personal and professional goals for 2018!

As I had mentioned in my last blog, Beijing, she is one crazy town – Full of culture, traditions, beauty and sometimes just sheer wackiness!  Like anything in life, you gotta take the good with the bad and find your balance, and in this case, a little piece of home while living so far away – As it would turn out, that little piece of home came to me in the form of Christmas.

Yes, you read that right, I celebrated Christmas in Beijing and it was wonderful!

Allow me explain…

You would be correct in thinking that Christmas is not really a widely celebrated tradition here in Beijing, hell China for that matter, as the largest part of the population here are practicing Buddhists.  But, you are beginning to see more and more shop keepers put up decorations, trees and lights in their establishments.  It is a welcoming sight to be able to see and revel in the awe of all the traditions that I grew up with in Canada – Minus of course cooking a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, as many do not have ovens in their homes or have ever even seen or eaten a turkey here, true story but I digress…

I was delighted to see that the school I am teaching at was actually participating in their own Christmas of sorts – A Christmas Club for all of their beautiful and eager students and parents.  In preparation for this event, I did have the foresight to bring my own ugly Christmas sweater to beat all other ugly Christmas sweaters – Full of tassels, reindeer, and blinking lights – No really, my sweater lit up ya’ll! 😛

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When the day came for us to bring a little of the West to the far East, I was pumped and ready to be a Canadian Ambassador to this little cultural exchange.  We designed a day filled with awe and wonder just as the tradition of Christmas should be. Parents and their eager children were greeted with gingerbread house building stations, Christmas card decorating stations, pictures with Santa, singers, dancers and even Tae Kwon Doe demonstrations.  The looks on their faces when they saw the twinkling lights on my sweater or the awe of being able to build a house out of cookies, candy and frosting was just a marvel to witness.

This day was a wonderful reminder that children no matter where they are from, are truly the gift we get to open everyday by being spellbound along with them as they begin their journey of firsts – First time they walk, they say their first word, tie their shoe or see Santa Clause for the first time.  All of these experiences allow each and everyone of us to tap into our gratitude and awe of what life can truly be if we just learn to trust and believe not only in others, but more importantly in ourselves.  Life is wonderful, you just have to open your mind, and your hearts to experience it…

Thank you all once again for coming along on this blog writing journey with me, your support and you taking the time out of your busy schedules to read my shenanigans each and every week, that never goes unnoticed or unappreciated.  But, before you go, let me ask you this – When was the last time you allowed yourself the unbridled joy of having a ‘first time’ experience? What was it?

I can not wait to hear your answers!

Until we meet again,

Love & Light I send to you always,

Dina xxoo

Beijing Or Bust

Hello my fellow blog lovers and supporters – I’m back bitches!

Happy New Year, and boy what a year it is going to be!

As many of you already know I have embarked on a journey to the Far East, Beijing China to be exact, for a year long adventure in  this new land, with new cultures, new traditions and a new job – I am teaching English as a Second Language to 3 – 12 yr old children in the Fengtai District of Beijing.

You maybe wondering, ‘Dina, why in the hell would you choose to leave the safety, security and comfort of your home, family and friends, traipse off to a foreign country where you don’t even speak the language for over a year long stay – why?’

Well, allow me to explain…

Did I ever think that at the ripe old age of 45 yrs old, I would pack my bags, and my entire life actually and move half way around the world to start over in a new job and a new life? Fuck no!

But, what I have learned these over these last 45 trips around the sun, is that sometimes you just gotta ‘FUCK IT’ and go after those opportunities that present themselves.  You may not understand why they are appearing to you, but you need to trust in the process and not ask why, but instead just have faith and take that big ass leap outside of your comfort zone and just trust that your wings will appear.

So out of an unorthodox situation – My ex boyfriend (the one I had mentioned in an earlier blog) presented me with this opportunity to come teach here in Beijing.  YES, you read that right, my ex offered me a job and I took it.  Did I mention that he is technically my boss?  Yeah that’s a whole other blog on its own for another day. 😛

Since my contract was ending with President’s Choice Financial in Toronto – I thought ‘You know what, I don’t have any other job prospects on the horizon and I have felt like I have been in a rut the past while – Why not shake things up a bit and just go for it. And I did!

Beginning the process back in October of 2017, I begin the tedious and arduous task of applying for my work visa in China, which seriously may just be a blog all on its own – No seriously its a freaking process yo!

Once I went through the process of getting my criminal record check, copy of my Bachelors Degree, TESOL (Teaching English Second Language) certificate and my CV all copied, notarized and authenticated by both Canada and the Chinese Consulate – YES by both! I was finally able to apply for my Foreign Expert Certificate and my actual Visa.  3 trips to the China Visa Office in Toronto and like 2 days before I was scheduled to fly to Beijing I finally had my visa in my hot little hands! PHEW!

I had my last hurrah with my lovely family and friends, who all understand why I was leaving, but were also very sad to see me go.  Magically, I was able to figure out how to pack my entire life into 3 suitcases and 1 carry on – Real life example of human Tetris folks!

The morning came for me to leave and Murphy’s freaking law, we get a freak snowstorm (which by the looks of the winter you have all had, that was just a foreshadow of what was to come for you all – Sorry about that :P)  My car service apparently came to our door twice to come and pick me up, but I wasn’t able to hear them.  Being 2 hours early for a 4:30am pick up will tend to do that 😛 Needless to say I was sleeping, when they arrived the first 2 times. 😛

Thankfully I called and got another driver to circle around so that I could begin my relocation to Beijing.  Did I mention that the roads were covered in snow and ice, my driver was driving like a maniac and I literally white knuckled it all the way to the airport in Toronto.  Yeah that happened.  Little did I know, that this was my foreshadow for what was to come driving in Beijing – More on that to come 😛

Thankfully, got there in one piece and proceeded to show my hulking muscles by being the only one that could adequately lift my large suitcases – Me strong like bull!

Checked in and waited for my flight to be called.  Due to the weather, we were a few minutes late to take off.  Those few minutes turned into a couple of hours 😦  We were waiting for other flight crew to arrive so they could fly to Calgary with us – Come on Westjet!  Because of this, I missed my connecting flight to Beijing.  Gotta say, that made me lose some points with you.

However, when we finally took off after having to de-ice the plane TWICE, they had all of my hotel and new flight arrangements all figured out by the time I landed.  OK, you won those and few more points back Westjet!

I got an night out in Calgary folks – the hotel was lovely, clean, modern and brand new.  The restaurant downstairs was exquisite.  The food and service was exceptional.  You know the saying ‘everything happens for a reason’?  Well, I think me missing my connecting flight to Beijing allowed me to de-stress, have a wonderful meal and get a good night’s sleep before I continued my journey to first my ole stomping grounds of Vancouver and then off to China the following day.

 

My exquisite meal in Calgary!

After landing in Vancouver and treating myself to a Eggnog Latte (SO GOOD), I quickly boarded my flight and arrived in Beijing 13 hrs later.

Navigating the Beijing airport is a little bit confusing, but not impossible as most things are written in English and Chinese or you can easily find an attendant that can speak some English to assist you.  Here you go through customs for the FIRST time, without your luggage.  Next you take a subway transit like system to go and retrieve your luggage.  Side Note:  These are not uncommon overseas as I had to do just the same when I flew into Heathrow Airport 5 years ago so I wasn’t unfamiliar with the experience.  Once you pick up your luggage you then must go through another security check point WITH your luggage.  Finally, if you then decide you would like to take the attached subway system or public transit to reach your destination, you then go through ANOTHER security check point as well.  Yes you get padded down and wanded 3 times before you leave the airport.  Come to think of it, I had a date like that once 😛

 

They LOVE their bikes here!

Literally fell within the first few days of arriving! Gotta watch for random pieces of steel sticking up from the sidewalk here 😦

Small but deadly these are!

Very different to what we are used to here in Canada, but then again I ain’t in Kansas anymore peeps!  My recruiter Nina met me, and we embarked on my 1.5 hrs drive in a taxi to my new home in Fengtai.  What is my home like?  Well, let’s save that for another blog 🙂

Stay tuned, lots more to come!

Thank you all once again for coming along on this crazy blog writing journey with me and supporting me every time you take the time out of your busy schedule to read my ramblings.  That never goes unnoticed or unappreciated!  But, before we go let me ask you this – Have you ever just trusted your instincts and just jumped right out of your comfort zone and into a brand new life and experience not knowing how you will navigate it but, just knew you would figure it out along the way?

Can not wait to hear your experiences!

Till next time,

I send you all love & light.

Dina xxoo

Hot Mess Mondays

Hello My Fellow Blog Lovers & Supporters out there!

We are coming close to the end of October and about to dance into November and I don’t know about you, but I have been a bit like a hot mess these past few weeks – Not as focused or productive as I would like to be and not getting to those goals that I so eloquently have put forth for myself.  For some of you this sounds normal and for others not so much.

So in my effort to come up with a blog topic for you this week, being in the ‘hot mess’ state that I was feeling, I couldn’t come up with anything.  Nope, it would seem that that creativity or inspiration tank was empty and I was perplexed.  So instead of beating myself up for it or fighting what I was feeling, I decided to go with it and think outside the box and write you a reenactment of how I was feeling – thinking that many of you can relate, I decided to create it around a short story, a ‘hot mess’ scenario if you will.  Rules are meant to be broken right? So here I am breaking my own rules for blogging – Here is my short story – My Hot Mess Monday…

The blaring alarm clock pierces Charlotte’s eardrums, jarring her from her much needed slumber. She reluctantly rolls over and smacks the snooze button with all the strength she can muster. “Dear God, it is too early” she mutters into her deflated pillow. Charlotte takes one last sigh and rolls over, throws the duvet off of her pajama clothed body and gets herself out of bed, takes a stretch and a yawn and shuffles herself off to the bathroom.

Charlotte takes a look at herself in the mirror, her hair is disheveled, her mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage, and she has smeared and partially worn off make-up with a small bit of some unknown crusty goop in the corner of her eye. In the upper right hand corner of the mirror there is a little post it note with the quote “40 is Fabulous!” hand scrawled across its beaming yellow hue. Charlotte while rubbing her eye reads the inspirational post it and takes another look in the bathroom mirror, blinks a couple of times at the image reflecting back at her and begins to chuckle and mutter, “Yup I’m fucking fabulous alright.” She shakes her head, opens up the medicine cabinet, pulls out her toothbrush and tooth paste and begins to brush her teeth. Charlotte gets ready for her day.

Charlotte runs down the stairs trying to button up the last of the buttons on her dress shirt. She rushes into the kitchen and pours herself a cup of much needed coffee. She takes a look at the clock on the microwave, “Crap I’m late!” Charlotte puts the lid on her travel mug, grabs her coat, purse and keys and runs out the door.

Charlotte is speed walking her way to the bus stop. “Man I really need to work out more” Charlotte thinks as her wobbling thighs and buttocks burn. Behind her she can hear the rapidly approaching familiar chugging and whirring sounds of the Number 9 bus. “Aw man not again” Charlotte breaks into her signature flailing chicken run of terror. Loud grinding and whirring sounds hunt, overtake and leave Charlotte in the dust or more literally in the drink; a cold splash of muddy puddle water leaves her drenched. “Are you effing kidding me!” Charlotte screams as she reaches the bus stop out of breath and clearly irritated. The Number 9 bus is still loading its passengers. Charlotte dripping wet and pissed off steps onto the bus and glares at the bus driver. “Oops, sorry about that sweetie” The bus driver says with a bit of a chuckle. Charlotte beyond irritated, “First off, I ain’t your freakin sweetie, second off George, you’re a dick, get over yourself, you’re a effing bus driver not a brain surgeon!” “Excuse me I am NOT a bus driver I am a Transport Technician” Charlotte wipes her face with her soggy sleeve, puts her fare in the fare box and leans into George and says, “Oh that is right I forgot a Transportation Technician, translated means, I have a small dick so I must overcompensate by driving the biggest piece of crap machinery known to man.” Charlotte drops the last of the coins in the fare box and takes her ticket. George shakes his head and mutters “Bitch” Charlotte mutters “Dick” and walks back to her seat.  Charlotte plops down next to an unsuspecting middle aged male passenger quietly reading his newspaper. As Charlotte sits almost in defeat the man looks up from his paper, Charlotte is still dripping wet and still panting from running. The man looks at Charlotte in puzzlement. Charlotte casually looks over at the man, wipes water dripping down her face with her sleeve and gives the man a cordial half smile and says “Hey, whatcha reading, anything worthwhile in there?” The man still puzzled at her very wet and distressed attire, stares at Charlotte and blinks a couple of times before replying, “Oh you know, same old, same old, death, destruction, falling economy, who is Lindsay Lohan screwing.” Charlotte replies, “Cool” They both awkwardly turn way from each other.

The bus ride is bumpy and filled with smells that should only be manufactured during wartime in a top secret facility and not coming from within the human body. Finally, Charlotte sees her stop and rings the bell. She gets up and begins to walk to the front of the bus, suddenly out of nowhere George slams on the brakes and Charlotte goes flying and lands in the sturdy lap of an attractive, dark haired, dark eyed well-dressed man. The man is texting; Charlotte is now sitting on said phone. “You gotta watch that first step she is a doozy” Charlotte sheepishly says with an awkward laugh. The man just blankly stares at her. Just then, the phone wedged underneath Charlotte’s butt and the man’s lap rings. Charlotte casually reaches underneath her posterior and yanks out the damp cell phone and hands it to the man, “Gives new meaning to butt dialing huh” Charlotte says with a nervous laugh. The man gives Charlotte an awkward smile. “Can you get off of me now, I have to take this” Charlotte grabs the pole and rolls herself off of the man, pulls down her skirt and staggers her way to the front of the bus. George is laughing. Charlotte glares and mutters “Dick” George continues to laugh, “Watch that first step now, it can be a doozy” and continues to laugh. Charlotte mocks George with a fake laugh and exits the bus. She looks down at her watch, “Shit I am so late!” Charlotte proceeds into her flailing chicken run.

The blaring and piercing ring of the alarm clock awakens Charlotte from her much needed slumber. Charlotte looks at the clock and decides to throw it across the room. Charlotte rolls over onto her stomach and mutters into her deflated pillow, “Dear God, it is too fucking early!” Monday’s always come too fucking early.

 

Thank you all once again for coming along on this blog writing journey with me and for taking the time to read my ramblings each week – That does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.  But, before we go let me ask you this – Have you just felt like you were just a ‘hot mess’ in your life?  How did you deal with it – What are you own tips and tricks to help us fellow hot messes out?

I seriously CAN NOT wait for your answers!

Until next time,

I send you Love & Light Always,

Dina xxoo

Sadly, #MeToo

Hello, my fellow blog lovers and supporters, this week’s blog, we go deep, raw and have the much needed conversation that sadly we still need to be having – The topic of sexual assault.

OK take a deep breath and here we go…

If you don’t know who Harvey Weinstein is or what controversy he is embroiled in currently, then you really have been living under a rock.  He is the Hollywood Executive that has been accused of countless sexual assaults and rapes that span decades.  Sexual assault in Hollywood, is sadly not a new phenomenon.  Hollywood like many industries is indeed ‘male dominated’.  Trying to earn a spot or a name for yourself is an uphill battle to say the least.  “Only 7% of all film directors in the top 250 films of 2016 were women.” – Hollywood Reporter

So trying to work in a sea of men within this industry, who by their very nature are driven by power, greed and entitlement, it really isn’t shocking that countless women were subjected to the misogynist and criminal behavior of such a man as Harvey Weinstein.

For me – the more enlightening fall out of this scandal is how pervasive this ‘rape culture’ is not only in Hollywood but in society in general.  This point could not be more clear than with the hundreds of thousands of #MeToo hashtags that popped up on social media globally, showcasing all of the women who have been subjected to this behavior in their past, present and hopefully not their future.

I too am included in this far reaching group of brave women, who tragically have been conditioned to accept that this is “just how things are” or “do you really want to open yourself up to scrutiny if you report this?” or as in the case of Hollywood, fear of reprisal or being blacklisted to never work again, ending their careers before they start.

When we have a section of society with such pervasive power over another – Abuse of power will always evolve and rear its ugly head.

When I look back on the COUNTLESS and I mean COUNTLESS times that I have been subjected to this behavior, I am appalled and heart broken.

• From the young age of 9, being fondled by a 65 yr old family friend.
• From being told at the tender age of 12 that “I would make a good wife one day, cause I had a nice set of baby hips on me.” (he was in his 50’s).
• To the son of a boss I had in a local restaurant I worked at, feeling it was his right to grind up against me while I washed dishes, (I was 15).
• To being a first year university student, being humiliated and reminded what my place was as a woman by a male professor and male student all because I tried to stand up for myself in class.
• To the countless catcalls (the latest one was last week) or being called ‘Bitch’, ‘Cunt’, ‘Fat Ass’, ‘Slut’ because I didn’t react how they wanted to their advances.
• Being told I could just be so much prettier if I learned to smile more.
• To have a car full of 20 something yr old boys continuously circling and passing by me as I walked home, screaming obscenities, threatening to jump out and ‘take me for a ‘special’ ride”.

Finally the countless times I had a drink ‘accidentally’ spilled on me so the gracious suitor could ‘help’ me clean myself up – groping, smacking, hissing, intimidating me all done because they all believed they were entitled too.

So when I say I am saddened but not shocked you can probably understand why.

This incessant behavior groomed me to:

• Watch what I am wearing
• Be sure to not go out by myself late at night
• Don’t get drunk when I go out
• Never leave my drink alone
• Never jog with headphones in
• Never park in parking garages
• Always walk in well-lit areas
• Don’t make eye-contact
• Never make eye-contact

And so on and so on…

All so as I don’t appear to be ‘asking for it’.

Staying silent and accepting that this is just how things are, condones and allows this despicable behavior to continue, fester and spread – Mutating into the epidemic that it clearly has become – Cut to the countless #MeToo stories we are bearing witness too today.

Staying silent and not telling my story until now means that I helped to perpetuate this disease and for that I am truly sorry. I will own that. I will own my complacency.

However, once you have truly been awoken – You can’t simply go back to sleep.

Today, I say No MORE!

No more sitting idly by and not saying something when I witness off colour jokes, misogynist comments, intimidation, humiliation, bullying, catcalling, unwanted touching, groping, raping, assaulting.

NO FUCKING MORE!

As a woman, please know it is not your fault, it has NEVER been your fault when you were victimized, harassed or assaulted.  To the men who have or think they want to participate in this unspeakable misogynist and entitled behavior – This shit is gonna end.  We’re fed up.  You’ve been warned and you will be held accountable.

On the flip side, to all the men who have been loving, supportive and respectful to women – We salute and encourage you to continue to be the beacons of what REAL men are and pray that you will choose to speak up when you bear witness and choose to raise your sons to be compassionate, good hearted and respectful members of the human race.

I know we have a long way to go, but, having this conversation and bringing it out of the darkness of denial and into the light, is such an important first step. And I for one am ready to leap, are you?

Thank you all once again for coming along on this blog writing journey with me.  Your support and taking the time to read my perspectives each week does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.  But, before we go, let me ask you this – How will YOU join the movement to say ‘NO MORE’ to sexual assault/harassment in your communities?

Please leave your comments in the space provided below, so we can continue to have this much needed conversation.

Until next time,

Love & Light I send to each and every one of you especially my #MeToo sistahs,

Dina xxoo

 

 

 

This Adulting Thing Is Not What It’s Cracked Up To Be!

Hello My Fellow Blog Lovers & Supporters!

Welcome to Fall folks or maybe an extended Summer given the hot ass weather we have been experiencing these past few days!  I’m OK with holding onto summer just that little bit longer, but maybe not on ‘Broil” if you know what I mean. 😛

I don’t know about you, but Fall always makes me feel a bit reminiscent or nostalgic of what I still want to achieve in the current calendar year and how I need to refocus and renew my commitment to me and the steps I need to take in order to achieve said remaining goals.  As the colourful leaves are falling, I am reminded that if you are committed to positive change and being in the present, time will slip away, and before you know it, the beauty that was always around you will slip away right before your eyes.

Safety and security is something we all strive for in life, but is it the right choice?

Allow me to explain…

When I was younger, I was very shy, awkward and so unsure of myself and my abilities.  I always felt like an outsider in my own life, like I was looking from the outside inwards and was witnessing someone else – Not the true essence of who I was inside, buried way down deep underneath all the low self-esteem, clumsiness and self-loathing.  As you can gather, I wasn’t a popular kid, generally stayed in the shadows where it was safe and secure.  But, inside there was a bit of a wild child in some ways, aching and fighting to break free and come to the surface.  She was regularly told to ‘shut it’ and ‘pipe down’ and keep her crazy notions to herself. She wasn’t really allowed to speak and take the stage until I was well into my teens – I finally got to the point where I said ‘Fuck this’ “I’m going to be what I want to be and if that ruffles some feathers then so be it!”  That is when my true ‘artistic and creative’ freedom for expression came to the surface and it was glorious!

 

I was in theatre, band (I played alto saxophone and no we never went to band camp..lol.. – look out Kenny G :P), outdoor club, environmental committee, broadcasting club, soccer and basketball – You name it I was probably a member of it in high school.  There was such a feeling of freedom and liberation when you dictate how you want your life to go without worrying if you ‘fit in’ or not.

Then inevitably comes adulthood and all that liberation seems to go to the wayside because of responsibilities and the prescribed need for safety and security.   But what if that is NOT the life you want to live?

The problem with living a ‘safe’ life for me can be described in a few ways.  But before I go any further, allow me to say that being ‘safe’ is just fine and I am not nullifying or condemning anyone for choosing this way of life.  Not at all, if this is your conscience choice, kudos to you for choosing how you want to live!

I’ve been testing out those waters of safety and security for quite some time now and I do have to admit it hasn’t been all bad – I do find some solace in feeling safe and secure, don’t get me wrong.  But, there is this other side of me, that rebel who wore Doc Martins with EVERYTHING and I mean everything, piercings, tattoos, black lipstick and my own version of a female flock of seagulls hair cut – Just ask my Mom and the countless times she would pretend she didn’t know me out in public because of my crazy get ups – Tee hee sorry Mom 😛

Well that rebel, wild child has been knocking, nay she had been kicking trying to knock down the door and be heard.  Not just in a whisper, but in a blood curdling scream for quite some time now.  I keep telling her to shhh and be quiet – The ‘adults’ are talking.   She pouts, and goes back into her corner, stomping and crossing her arms in front of her body all the while giving me the old stink eye.  As we know full well, most petulant teens will not remain quiet for long, nor if they truly believe in something will not back down until they are heard.

 

I think taking the plunge by coming to Toronto on a spur of the moment 3-month contract has stirred up thoughts and emotions in me that have been dormant or maybe I just haven’t been paying attention to them for a very long time.  What I do know is, ‘Someday’ is NEVER going to come.  If you are like me who has been telling yourself that ‘someday’ when I have this amount of money, ‘someday’ when I reach this weight or ‘someday’ when I get my dream job – you eventually realize that someday is NOW and its time to take that leap! Life can and will just keep on chugging along with or without your ‘someday’ and it’s up to you to take those moments and make them your own.

I deserve to make ‘someday’ today.  It is time to go all in on me.  I believe that I am worth that, what about you?

It’s time to dust off those old Doc Martins, that Sex Pistols T-shirt and see what colour purple my next hairstyle just might be.  What other crazy stunts will I be up to?  Who knows, you will have to stay tuned to find out…

Thank you all once again for coming on this blog writing journey with me.  Your support and you taking the time to read my ramblings each week, does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.  But before we go let me ask you this, if YOUR someday was today what would you choose to achieve?

I am so looking forward to your answers!

Until we meet again,

Love & Light I send to you always,

Dina xxoo

Oh Inspiration – You Elusive Sexy Beast!

Hello My beautiful and sexy blog readers and supporters!

I hope that this week’s ramblings and word shenanigans find you all happy, healthy, a bit more wealthy and maybe a wee bit more wise.  One can hope right!? 😛

Summer is upon us with a vengeance and I am freaking loving it! After making the revelation to you all a couple weeks back about jumping back into the film writing arena I had noticed a few things about myself.

Allow me to explain…

First of all, I have finally come to the realization and acceptance that I am a storyteller at the very core of who I am as a person and more specifically as a woman.  I generally am the one to almost put on a show so to speak when I regal you with my musings or experiences full of funny voices, hand gestures and contorted body configurations.  I love taking you along on the mystical ride and hope you have quite an experience when you do – intrigue, laughter, fear, love, happiness etc. whatever the story entails.  I guess that is why I took to writing my blogs every week, I am in essence taking you all along on my own journey – The story of my life.

Even as a young child I was enthralled with movies – Such a wonderful way to take someone on a magical journey – A way to escape and become anyone or anything you ever wanted to be.  I remember quite vividly at about the age of 5 or 6 I think, I was watching The Wizard Of Oz for what seemed like the umpteenth time on TV, and I was just mesmerized by the magic and fantasy of it all – It was in this moment that I knew I wanted to be apart of this – Not knowing entirely what ‘THIS’ was, or in what capacity I wanted to be apart of it, I just knew in someway I was going to be.  Fast forward to today and once again here I am moving myself closer to realizing that dream.

Now we come to the second part and the basis for this week’s blog – Inspiration, where to get it and how to harness it!

For me, I have had an ongoing, ‘love/hate’ relationship with inspiration – She can be abundant and yet completely elusive at the same time, that sneaky minx!

Inspiration really has no rhyme or reason for me. Where it comes from is never common place or consistent. It could be music, art, film, life, nature, dance, fashion, a PB & J sandwich etc. etc.  I have tried so many different ways to try and harness it, but to no avail.  I find, since I have gone back to walking everyday, that has helped to knock some ideas loose, which I am exploring at the moment. Stay tuned for script announcements 🙂

But I gotta say, one minute it is here and the next poof it’s gone. Or maybe the answer is that I could just have a mild to moderate form of ADHD?  No really, I tend to be all over the place.

Could it be the copious amounts of sugar I can consume in one sitting? I once put four whole boxes of smarties in my mouth on a dare, needless to say my Mother had to peel me off the ceiling from my sugar high.

I really can’t say, but what I can say with undoubted certainty is that my wide and vast ocean of imagination has never waned or faded. It is almost a need not just a want for me. I NEED to be lost in the cascades of lollipop land and gumdrop sunsets, even as I approach 45 years of age next week, EeeeeeeeK.

It really is my escape, it always has been and I believe it always will be. I can be who and what I have always wanted to be with no regret or compromise. In this land, I am beautiful, strong, playful, courageous – Ultimately I am free. Free from judgement, obligation and expectations not only from others, but much more profoundly from within my own self.

Don’t get me wrong, I can feel these things in my everyday life – My work, family and friends allow me to explore these emotions, but in there – My limitless and vast imagination, I have no need for compromise or explanation.  I can just be ME, flaws, quirks and all!

I believe that growing up does not have to mean you have to lose your child like wonder or sense of adventure. No, I think in efforts to put things like, our life and our experiences within it, into nice, neat and ordered little boxes of conformity,  we in fact lose. We lose the very unique and unorthodox pieces that make up who we are in the process.

Our quirks, flaws abnormalities if you will, are what make us, well US.  Those are what make you stand out from the crowd, make you unique and special in my books.  This amusement park of my mind has been closed for far too long and I am excited to gas up the roller coaster and merry go round and just simply enjoy the ride.

Ultimately I have discovered is that I don’t need to harness my inspirations, just delight and feel blessed that I am still able to have them in the confines of my crazy and unpredictable world called my imagination.

Thank you all once again for coming along on this crazy blog ride with me each week and for taking the time to read my shenanigans.  It indeed does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.  But, before we go let me ask you all, where do you find your own inspiration in your life?  Are you able to harness it or is it elusive as it is for me?

I can not wait to read your answers!

Until we meet again,

Love and Light Always,

Dina xxoo

Yoga and Wine – Why Yes Please!

Hello My Fellow Blog Lovers & Supporters!

Warm weather is FINALLY here in Niagara and I could not be more excited and grateful! The first person that complains about the heat, I swear, I will get them a steaming and very noticeable side eye and eye roll I tells ya! 😛

It still amazes me how many genuine and wonderful people I have met and connected with online. I mean working in social media it shouldn’t surprise me all that much, but it does, and growing my online friendship with local blogger and woman extraordinaire  Joanne Deall of Niagarafied offline has been such a wonderful treat and experience.  On a side note – This talented lady has a brand new project she is launching called the People of Niagara If you have a unique story and live in the Niagara region she wants to hear from you! (Complete series breakdown can be found in the hyperlink above)

The reason I mention this lovely lady is that recently she invited me as her plus one at a wonderful Yoga/Wine and Cheese pairing event at the beyond beautiful Legends Estate Winery in Beamsville.

Legend’s Winery was established in 1946 as a small house winery with over 200 acres of fruit and signature grapes that are farmed carefully and harvested gently with the stunning backdrop of Lake Ontario in the background. Perfect place for parties, weddings and receptions of any kind really. It definitely is a place where history of the past and vision of the future have struck a fine balance.  It is a shining example of the perfect symmetry of tradition and technology.  A little tricky to locate, but oh so worth the GPS to find it!

I had never been to this particular vineyard before, but when you say you are gonna get mello jello from an hour of yummy body bending yoga by the talented and oh so bubbly Joanna Deluca of Grimsby Yoga & Wellness, then top it off by sitting in the vineyard drinking wine and pairing it with delicious cheeses – UM YEAH count me in!!

Before I go any further I need to mention it has been quite some time since I had done any yoga.  I know, I know, before you all say, “but Dina you had written previously that you were training to become a yoga instructor yourself, why no yoga for some time?” Well as you all know, life is funny and unexpected and we get diverted on new paths, my reasoning for stopping my yoga training is for another blog all on its own.

But, I digress, as we entered into the rustic and welcoming entrance to the winery store and tasting room, we were welcomed by the friendly and energetic staff who directed us into the ‘Barrel Room’, the place where we were going to be having our yoga session. Can I just take a moment to say WOW! What a beautiful and enchanting space to just take a moment to breathe and take in the positive energy and vibe of this space complimented with polished hardwood floors surrounded by windows showcasing what seems like endless barrels of fermenting wine – Just gorgeous! A perfect space for any event large or small!

The room was filled with laughter, chatter and mulling about as the participants found their own spots to lay their yoga mats and begin our session of relaxation and as it turned out, SWEAT!

As I had mentioned, I hadn’t participated in a yoga class for quite some time, but as it was listed to be a ‘gentle’ Hatha practice for all levels,  I thought, ‘well I can handle that’

Yeah, my brain should have asked my body first, this gentle session literally kicked my butt! Sweat, cracks and pops coming from my muscles and joints that I clearly have not been paying proper attention too were quickly awoken! A good ache if you know what I mean, almost like an old friend who I hadn’t seen in a while but have always meant to call and catch up with 🙂

Well if that doesn’t deserve some wine and cheese pairing I don’t know what does!

Luckily, I was in the right place!

After our session was done, we all gathered our things and casually walked out into the vineyard for our tasting.  Such a beautiful backdrop to an already lovely day.  Sweaty and satisfied participants tasting wine, eating some nibbles, chatting, laughing – One woman even told me that she was excited to have her wedding here in the Fall – Just lovely.

I was able to sample both a white and a red wine at the tasting table, and I have to say the Legend’s Estate Winery White Semillion is truly unique, crisp, slightly sweet, smooth and all around DELISH!  This was the winner for me, in fact I brought some a few bottles to enjoy later.

I can not say enough how wonderful of a time I had discovering this new gem in our very own Niagara backyard, and I look forward to visiting her again in the not to distant future.

Thank you once again for all of your support and for taking the time to read my ramblings every week!  That does not go unnoticed or unappreciated! But, before I go, let me ask you, what are some of YOUR favorite wineries here in Niagara?  I am always looking for new ones to discover and enjoy!

Looking forward to your feedback.

Until we meet again,

Love & Light I send to you always,

Dina xxoo

It’s Time To Get Back To Basics…

Hello my fellow blog lovers and supporters!

Holy April showers bringing even more showers in May! Our backyard is a freaking lake ya’ll, and if these rain showers keeps going possibly an ocean!  Minus the salt water of course, but I digress. Fingers crossed that sunshine is a coming our way, our soggy yards are begging for it!

As I have been a bit home bound with this soggy weather as of late, something interesting really struck me – I think it is time for me to scale back and get back to some basics in my life.

Allow me explain…

As you all know, I am going through a bit of a transition both in my life and in my career at the moment and along with a bit of anxiety (ahhh of course you are coming along for the party aren’t you old friend)  I realize that my body and my inspiration are crying out for me to just FUCKING STOP AND CHILL ALREADY!

You see, I am one of those people that is always going at full speed.  I am definitely an all or nothing kind of woman and quite frankly my tank is beginning to run on empty!

With having home, personal and work commitments I ALWAYS forget to schedule some ME time into my already very full schedule.  Along with this nagging cough and overall feeling of being run down, it finally hit home for me – Sometimes the best thing you can do for you is just STOP, reevaluate and bring your life back to basics – Simplify baby!

Like most of you, I am always on my smartphone (occupational hazard I know), looking and striving for more in my life, to consume or supposedly to add to the overall ‘joy’ and enjoyment in my life and for those that I care about.  But, why does this quest generally involve a piece of technology?  Why am I looking to technology or the ‘other’ for my own satisfaction, self worth and or happiness? That is kinda messed up when you think about it.

It kind of makes me think of that old dilemma of having too much choice – How much harder it is to make a decision when the choices are endless.  Same can be said for how you live or run your own life.  Having too much can just be that – Too much!

Simplifying and scaling back and reassessing is an important exercise to not only have in your business, but to implement in our day to day lives as well.  A Spring cleaning of the mind, body and soul if you will. This week, I am choosing to follow my own advice and scale back a bit and look inwards and really reassess what it is I want, how do I go about getting it and rewarding myself with some much needed rest to regroup and get ready to transition into this next phase of my life.

Tuning into my own thoughts and emotions is so important in this crazy life journey of mine.  If I don’t listen to my own inner voices how will I be able to know what it is I truly want and desire in my life – I guess this is just a natural progression from me choosing to follow my gut and see what wild and crazy ride it will take me on.  Buckle up as they say!

No matter how many new twists and turns I encounter and boy oh boy the ones I have experienced already have been doozies, I know that I will welcome my front row seat because as they say that is where the best views are!

Thank you all once again for coming along on this crazy blog journey with me.  Your support and taking the time to read my ramblings each week does not go unnoticed or unappreciated! But before we go, let me ask you this, what can YOU do to scale back or simplify your life to bring back that much needed balance and peace into your own life? I can not wait to hear your answers as I am always looking for new ways to better my life and those that I care about.

Until next time,

Love and Light I send to you always!

Dina xxoo

Just A Tattooed Misfit I Is

Hello My fellow Blog Lovers and Supporters!

What a week! Snow, rain, sun – Mother Nature needs to make up her mind I tells ya!

Either way the irises are starting to come up in our front garden and the birds are singing once again.  I LOVE this time of year.  It reminds me of rebirth and how no matter what, you can always reinvent yourself and become what ever you have always wanted to become, as long as you focus and do the work necessary to achieve it.

It also makes me think about appearances – How what you see on the surface is not necessarily what is underneath, either in nature or in humanity.

I am going to let you in a bit of a secret – Not many of you may know this about me, but, I have tattoos and piercings.  Quite a few to be exact and quite honestly it seems to be a surprise to most everyone I meet.

YOU have a Tattoo???? The emphasis on YOU in this common phrase that is directed towards me when it is revealed that I do indeed have tattoos, 4 in fact and soon to be more. You see I don’t fit the stereotypical “type” that would have a tattoo. I work a 9 to 5 job, dress relatively mainstream and have no motorcycle in sight. It really is puzzling that in today’s day and age we still have preconceived notions on how and what people should look and act like. Even though, tattoos and piercings really have become mainstream, I still run into this very same reaction each time it is revealed I have them.

The funniest encounter was at the very same shop I used to get my tattoos done at.  I wanted to get a replacement jewelry for my nose piercing, so after I was done work I swung by the shop.  Waited in the line, while not one but two clerks looked me up and down wondering why someone like me was in a place like this.  They were new so they had never seen me before, finally one of them motioned with a smug, ‘what can we do for you?’ I mentioned that I wanted to replace my jewelry in my nose piercing.  Still with a look of confusion on their faces they motioned to the jewelry that I could choose from. Just as I was looking at the choices, Terry the shop owner and my tattoo artist came walking out from the back, motioned to me to say hi and inquired if he could see how my last tattoo I just got done was healing.  I lifted my pant leg to reveal my 1/4 leg memorial piece he had outlined for me.  He replied, “looks good”.  “thanks, I’ll make a follow up appointment while I am here so you can do the colouring.”

 

As I said all of this, I turned to the clerk behind the front counter and said, “Yeah this is my fourth one, Terry has done all of my tattoo work”  “I’ll take this one.”  I picked a nice nose stud” All with a big smile on my face. Well, the clerks mouth dropped and stumbled to say, “ah yeah, good choice, Jamie can replace it for you right away”  I seriously had to chuckle to myself.

You have to understand, tattoos are not just a fad or art to me. No, each one signifies and represents a poignant turning point or event in my life. When I look at each one I am reminded of where I was and where I still need to evolve to in my life. One of the ones that is most memorable for me is my tribal butterfly tattoo. You see this tattoo is a cover up. A cover up of a spontaneous choice, a youthful misguide in judgement.

When I was 23 I decided on the nudging of a friend to get a tattoo; a Japanese character for truth. Because of my fear of pain I only wanted to get it very small, tiny in fact. Well, unbeknownst to me, over a small period of time this little character for truth turned into a distorted blob of black ink. My tattoo artist at the time did not inform me that your skin stretches over time and if the tattoo is too small it will distort. Here I was left with a smudge or mark to glorify my mistake in judgement.

Years later, when I had matured from a naive girl into a more knowledgeable and evolved woman I was able to signify this with my tribal butterfly tattoo. What better way to represent this personal growth then a beautiful, colourful piece of body art. This piece of art shows that a mistake does not have to define you, but it can open you up to an opportunity to grow, learn, evolve and blossom into the person you are meant to be.

Some choose to keep these pearls of wisdom internal, but I choose to externalize them on my body, showing them if I chose or keeping them close to my heart for only my eyes to see and experience.

To the outside world my butterfly is just that a butterfly, but to me it is my freedom, beauty, sexy growing mystique of being the woman I am and want to become.

Thank you once again for coming along on my blogging journey with me. Your support and appreciation does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.  But, before we go, let me ask you this, have you ever been prejudged for something based on your appearance?  What was it and how did you respond?

I am looking forward to your feedback!

Until next time,

Love & Light I send to you always,

Dina xxoo