Hello fellow blog lovers and followers,
Another week has come and gone and here we are already in the second week of September! Is it just me or is time just seem to be speeding up not slowing down as we get older? Sorry, showing my age again, I promise I won’t start complaining about my aches and pains and having to get up to go pee multiple times in the night, welllll not in this blog anyways, I make no promises 😛
OK onward and upwards to today’s blog post, this week, something stuck me or I had an Aha moment ala Oprah and it came to me, dreams change, at least mine have.
Let me explain…
As some of you may know or I have said it here in passing, my first love has always been film making. The glamour and mystique of the big screen struck me at a very young age when I was watching The Wizard of Oz one day. If you haven’t seen it, GO SEE IT, rent it, (yes we used to rent movies), download it or Netflix it, it still holds up today with elements of whimsy and make believe. I knew that at a young age I wanted to be a part of ‘that’, in what ever capacity I could. Fast forward, getting my Honours Communications Degree from Brock University, my Broadcasting Diploma in Radio, TV and Film from Niagara College and living out in Vancouver for many years, trying to live the film making dream but STILL having to say, “Do you want fries with that?” in order to survive. I realized that my dream may need to be reevaluated or at least adjusted.
Like it or not, the Canadian film and television industry is a tough nut to crack even for the seasoned pros. Canadian film making phenom Anne Wheeler, once told me during an interview I had with her for my final thesis project about Canadian woman filmmakers;
“After I finish every film project, I have to start back at square one hustling for funding for the next one”
We are a public funded based industry unlike the US who is primarily based on a studio system. There are pros and cons to both and I won’t get into them here, but when you are ALL fighting for the same money, the unknown Indy filmmaker generally gets lost in the shuffle. So, when I finally came to the conclusion that I was always going to have to have a day job, I figured why not find one that I can utilize my experiences and knowledge I had already acquired from the Film & TV industry, and voila here I am working in Public Relations and social media management!
So where am I going with all this you ask? Well, recently I sat back and realized that I hadn’t had the craving and need to write a film script in quite some time. No really I used to thirst for it! And it got me thinking, was my passion gone? Was I never really supposed to be filmmaker? Was it all a lie? And this is where Oprah, gave me a car…. Kidding 😛
No this is where I had my Aha moment; I am not craving it because what I loved the most about film making and script writing I am actually already getting from my PR work, telling the human story.
Every day when I am managing the social media platforms for my clients, I am telling their own unique story, all the while building communities and relationships around them and their brand online. I mean how freaking cool is that! I have a hand it not only telling but creating multiple human stories every day. Essentially, my dream evolved as I and my life did.
For the longest time, I equated my identity as film maker. My quirky creative tendencies, my eclectic taste in music, art and avant garde traditions. I felt like the Jackson Pollock of the 1990’s if there really ever was such a thing. But, what I have come to realize all these years later, is that I can still wear the doc martins (and I do), have the funky glasses (yup got those) and wear the wild coloured hair (about to make a comeback) and still be ME, but a more mature and evolved Me. Today, my identity is Digital Media Strategist and that is still pretty fucking cool too! I know I am not the same person I was 20 years ago, hell I am not the same person I was last week. But, my core values and desires have never wavered and they never will.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I still wouldn’t jump at an opportunity to collaborate and create films if given the opportunity, in fact acknowledging this revelation has reignited my desire to do just that. Just now, I can do it for the sheer love of it and not because I need to pay the rent, that, I already have covered. 🙂
If any of you are interested, here is a film short called Redemption that I wrote, directed and produced and was shown in the Reel Women International Film Fest in LA in 2007.
Warning: there may be some abuse triggers for some in it. Please click the link and tell me what you think!
Again, thank you for coming along on these blog rides with me every week, I hope that my writing has given you a pause for thought or made you think or feel in some way. I am always so grateful for your support in taking the time to read my ramblings every week, it does not go unnoticed I assure you. But, before I go, let me know have any of your dreams evolved or changed? Have new ones replaced them? I would love to hear!
Until next time,
Love & Light I send to each and every one of you always,